Jon: You were supposed to come round, weren’t you? You just didn’t bother.
Russell: I did! –
Jon: Oh, got other stuff to do, mate!
Russell: I didn’t, I had a gig to do!
Jon: I know, it’s fine. I’m roasting off a chicken this week. You should come round, Richard. I’m roasting off a chicken.
Richard: That sounds good. But you know, I don’t want to get – there seems to be some tension in the air between you two, I don’t want to find that I’m stepping into something. There’s just the three of us round the table, you two glaring at each other.
Jon: It will just be the three of us. It’s only a one bedroomed flat, it’s not massive, so I can’t have more than two guests at a time.
Richard: [Laughs] Okay…
Russell: There is a lot of sexual tension between me and Jon and we don’t know why. I’m sure it’ll…
Richard: Well, maybe because you want to have sex with each other. [Russell and Jon burst out laughing] That would probably be it!
Russell: Well, once…
Richard: Maybe you should do that. What was…has it happened?
Russell: No, no… there was, you know…
[Very awkward pause for a few moments. Lots of embarrassed laughter.]
Jon: What were you going to say then? There was what??!
Russell: No, no, no! I wasn’t going to say…you know what I was going to say, but we can’t mention that!
[Uncomfortable moment’s pause]
Jon: [Shrill] Oh, now this sounds terrible! Well, we’ll chat about this off air but I’m fairly sure there isn’t anything…
Russell & Jon: So… [Indistinguishable ‘manly’ roaring from all three men]